I went to my sketching class this morning all dressed up and cute because I had a lunch friend date with Comrade Aliosha.
He is one of my good dear friends, a former co-worker. artist and sculptor and we colaborate on creative projects like the "Pizda" T-shirt. He is going to colaborate with me on some of the pieces for my student collection. He has always seen me looking cute because I dressed beautifully when I went into my office. Today, I wore the "IT" boots of the moment, the UGG Cardies, my "Right Fit" jeans, a Custo Barcelona top that everyone was stopping me to ask me where I got it, a 3 dots 3/4 sleeve t, Dominique Cohen jewelry and this awesome bangle bracelet.
The people in my class had never seen me looking cute, and they were like "OMG, you are cute..." and I was like yeah...I just don’t randomly waste my cute, I just do cute when the occassion calls for it..After all, they do NOT give away the "Some Kind Of Gorgeous" or the Bourgeois mascara...So I have to deem the occasion "mascara-worthy" which is kind of like Elaine Bennis from Seinfeld’s "sponge-worthy" but to the next level. I also used to say that I don’t pull all the stops unless "I be gettin’ paid or I be gettin’ laid" in the old days.
So I get to the class and the teacher , who is STRICT and like Anna Wintour with a pen and a marker set, lays out the assignments from last week to critique them for the whole class....
I was expecting a Project Rungay or Go Fug Yourself-worthy lashing...I was already pulling out my trusty vial of Astroglide...
Remember, last week we turned in the jean assigment and mine was the "Tina Jean"?
So when I see MY Tina on top of the pile I start SHAKING!!!!!!!
So she lays mine out first and then the others behind it....
And she proceeds to tell everyone that mine was beautiful and how well done the denim and lace were and everyone in the class’s mouth was like OMG!! when they saw it next to the other sketches ...
I was SO proud of my myself... NO one had done anything near as original and cool and creative with the assignment and mine was the only jean that would have sold for like 300 bucks retail at like Maxfield’s or Harvey Nicks...All the others were pretty close to either Macy’s or stripper’s day off.
My flats still look like utter crap, but I am getting there... I am starting to feel like freaking Ruben Toledo or Robert Best or something.
She looked at my texture studies for fabrics that we did for today and the skirt collection we are working on and she was like... this is good....
This collection is all in puples, fushias, pinks, greys and blacks and inspired by the movie "Xanadu" with Olivia Newton John.
In "Xanadu", Olivia Newton John’s character is a muse that inspires artists. She first inpired a Benny Goodman- type trumped player played by Gene Kelly in the 30’s-40’s and then in the late 70’s -80’s she inspires a graphic designer. played by Michael Beck.
At the end of the movie, the Gene Kelly character and the young dude open a club and they kind of mesh the Deco-era with the disco-punk-roller skating 80’s.
And everything is in the shades I picked pinks, purples, zebra, fushia....
So the assignments is to do 6 skirts in different fabrics. I did 3 20’s and 30’s- inspired evening skirts, very Vionnet and Desses and very Poiret and I am doing 3 punk-80’s influenced day skirts.
I am the only one doing a themed and cohesive collection :-)
I will post pics as soon as I am done and I find the pluggie thing for the camera because when I put my memory squary-thingie into the computer it’s not working.
At the end of the class my Wintour-esque teacher told me that I was getting it and that it was good work... I am like YESSSSSSSS!! Now I know how Andrea felt in "The Devil Wears Prada" at the end . ...:-)
I know one thing. That if I keep improving and this teacher says my stuff is good and she also teaches at FIDM, it means that the people at Central St. are going to be blown over with my portfolio.
Last year a chicklet from my school applied to FIT and got in right away.
Now, all I have to do is pull a Zac Posen/ Proenza Schouler/ Alex McQueen and sell out my student collection, and I am on my way ...
I went to get Pho with Aliosha and then went to the Borders to look at Fashion books and magazines.
I decided I was going to start and end trends this year because I felt like it...
If someone without a High School diploma gets to do that, why the hell should I not?
So here are the things that are OUT:
1) The hunched over model "couture" pose... yes, I mean this one
Stop it!!!! I am DONE with this thing. It is HIDEOUS. It is only done so the model can show how deformedly emaciated she is, and you can see her concave form and hollowed out clavicles. It is horrifying!!!! It reminds me of the She-Space Monster in Alien vs. Predator. There is NOTHING , nothing appealing or aesthetically pleasing about this pose. It creeps me out and now almost as cliche and cheesy as when bodybuilders pose with their legs astride and flexing their biceps. Moving on to...
2) American ( US Edition) Vogue. 75% of the rag is adverts. And another 15% is coverage on people like Anh Duong and Mercedes Bass and Lisa Airan and people that NO ONE gives a rat’s ass about and that are just obscenely thin and rich and really, not much more. If I see another boring, freeze-dried, "socialite" in Carolina Herrera or Oscar de la Renta or Marchesa, attending some boring soiree where there are no drag queens, I am going to HURL. The other 10% are fashion editorials that have gotten sadder and sadder with time with few exceptions ( like when they did the Alice in Wonderland one with Natalia Vodianova, or the Beauty and the Beast one with Drew Barrymore) and precious little redeeming articles. The only saving grace it had, the gourmet food column is gone and replaced by stupid, vapid shit about weight loss and "fitness" ( more weight loss) and plastic surgery. BLAHHHHH! Which leads to...
3) Gratuitous plastic surgery and particularly, excessive plastic surgery. These people who have too much Botox and Restylane and face lifts and collagen in the lips and cheek implants like Priscilla Pressley and Joan Rivers and Meg Ryan, look positively MONSTROUS and their faces look like the bastard child of a Bratz doll and an ass. An ass as in a behind. It is not just the fault of the insane women ( and men) who refuse to age gracefully and accept the innevitability and BEAUTY of growing old lovely like Helen Mirren, it is also the fault of the revolting, unethical hacks that perform the surgeries on them. Ditto for obcene and really, any breast augmentation surgery. Because... you have tp wait for the INS for that one...BTW, the only thing collagen in the the lips makes me think about is back-alley, 10-bucks-a -pop, cock sucking NOT of Angelina Jolie.
4) Exercising for the purpose of weight loss. Exercise should not even be exercise unless you are rehabilitating an injury or something. "Exercise" should be a fun physical activity that you do for.. yes, FUN and to enjoy you body.
5)"Romantic" Reality TV Shows like "Rock of Love’, "The Bachelor", "Shot of Love" and so on... These things are vulgar, boring , demeaning, repulsive and seriously, severly painful to watch. Skanks of various degrees of stankiness fighting for the attention of a seriously ewwww person and acting like complete whores with no dignity is a little bit further down the scale below Roman Circuses, Guillotine executions and Carnie side shows.
6) People who are celebrities for no reason other than they are wealthy or thin or somewhat "attractive" or because they are screwing somebody famous. We need to start making celebrities of people who do IMPORTANT things. Like save lives, or write great books or are actually good artists and musicians or make important scientific discoveries or help their communites or change the world in a positive manner or create something beautiful. How come the Principal dancer from the Alvin Ailey Dance Theatre is not famous and Paris Hilton still is? Why do we know who Victoria Beckham is and few people know who Luc Montaigner is? END MEANINGLESS CELEBRITY NOW. We need to save the attention and praise for people who actually deserve it.
7) Diet Programs and Diets. Life is too short to spend it counting calories, fat grams, points or anything else. Use common sense, enjoy life and food, listen to your body and life long and happy . Cheers!
1) Appealing modeling poses like hand (s)-on hip, opposite angle.
You need to remind people of this
Not of this
2) British (UK) Edition Vogue...
What a freaking difference! I only saw one objectionable article in it this month. It was about Queen of the Chavs who sleeps with footballer and who has too much plastic surgery. Other than that, Awesome layouts, great clothes, content about entretainment and designers and travel...Rock ON!
3) Growing old beautifully, good face creams, taking care of your skin, drinking lots os juices and water, smiling lots, small, medium and big NATURAL tits, and rocking whatever freaking body you were born with. Spend your money on decorating your existing beauty and enriching your life not on modifying your body to satify created insecurities.
4) Having fun with your body. Yes, this includes onanism. And dancing and Vogueing and playing softball and anything you love just because you love it.
5) Interesting TV shows that you SHOULD be watching like "Meet The Press"
6) Turning deserving, cool people who do good and valuable things into celebrities and shut off the attention from worthless celebritutes.
I have spoken.