I just got through reading one of the blogs I suscribe to.
It's from someone I kind of look up to because she is fierce and smart and beautiful and one of the first plus-size models to reach prominence. She is also the sister of a famous actress model and the daughter of a really hot super-skinny ageing rock star.
She was saying that she is getting married and that she wants to look her best for her wedding. I understand that. If I found someone that I liked enough to marry, and I went ahead and planned a wedding ( which I have, in my head, a gajillion times) I would try to look as hot and beautiful as possible for it too.
What I don't understand is WHY, in order to look your best, do you believe you have to loose an ounce?
Why is looking your best always associated with being as small as you possibly can be or wearing the smallest size in the rack?
Because we have been socially brainwashed to believe that, and we have our minds poisoned on an everyday basis to drill the message home than thinner is better.
What if all you had to do to look your best, was get a nice make-up job at your friendly MAC counter, get a cute hairstyle and throw on a dress you love? That is what skinny chicks do, why are we any different?
I can even understand working out to tone your arms or abs or whatever .. but why is weight loss always part of the equation?
I think by taking it out of the equation, you take a big step towards loving yourself and FEELING your best because you no longer feel like a never-ending improvement project. And if you FEEL your best, you look your best. Period.
I can understand eating healthy to have good skin. You should eat healthy foods regardless. But why does loosing weight have to do with anything?
In my life, and for my mental and physical health, I made the conscious decision to take it out of the equation.
So now, looking my best, only involves eating food that is good and tastes good, moving around in a way that is somewhat pleasurable as my all over health allows, getting a great color and cut and hairstyle, wearing awesome clothes that make me feel good, and wearing make-up that makes my already Vogue cover- worthy face, even more flawless. That's it.
No major effort. No weight-loss. No "transformations". No anorexic ideation or eating-disordered thinking. No self-hate and no believing that I am SO far away from looking acceptable, that I need this major overhaul and transformation. Because I simply don't. I am already pretty damn awesome and I just want to go from that to absolutely mezmerizing. And that only takes a little mascara and some lipstick and hairspray. Oh, and a trip to the waxers. Sane and serene are some of the most beautiful things a woman can be, and in order to be that, I have to love myself. Just the way I am.
I think that anyone who participates, or is associated with any weight loss product or program and has lived with the abuse and oppression of this thin-centric society, is contributing to this abuse and oppression and to the epidemic of self-hate and eating disorders. That is why I don't support Queen Latifah in her "decision" to join Jenny Craig, and why she went in my book from hero to Uncle Tom. There, I said it. It's been a thorn on my side for months now.
In order to look my best for my wedding ( to Tim Gunn or Spike The Punk Vampire or Harry Potter) all I would do, is take my sweet and giant ass to Reem Accra or Amsale or Vera Wang ( or in my case Vivienne Westwood or Alexander McQueen or John Galliano) and have them make me my dream wedding outfit, which would look something like this:
Except the hat would be white, or champagne or pearl or whatever and the jacket would be a real matching tuxedo jacket... See when you aren't obsessing about your weight, you can obsess about the things that matter, like your clothes and the cake and the music.
I would probably do my own make up, since I am almost as good as most professional make-up artists, and go get my hair done and that's it.
No major changes . No major transformations. And no drama. Because frankly, the man who would be marrying me, would already think I am pretty damn perfect, and I think the same thing.
By the way, I have always dreamed of walking down the aisle to a shower of iridiscent white, silver, clear and gold balloons falling from the ceiling to this song sang by a gay men's choir....