Friday, September 12, 2008

Blogging Project Runway: 13 Ghosts

Geezus the baby Christ, this week was bad... wicked bad.
The designers were tasked with designing an Avant Garde look based on Zodiac signs.
Really, actually kind of cool.
Yet NOT ONE could come up with something that could be considered remotely Avant-Garde by any stretch of the word.
Not even 3/4's as good as the stuff that my classmates at ghetto-Mesa College used to show at the little cute ghetto-fashion show/ provincial dance recital they had at the Airport Ramada or something. Not that they did not fancy themselves at the tents at Bryant Park, mind me. My rule of thumb is the following: if your fashion show is proudly organized and advertised as a "G-rated and family-oriented" event, that is a fashion show that is not the right venue for me. Just the fact that the show is thought with people's grandparents and kindergartners in mind makes me want to show my collection on 7 feet tall drag queens with mohawks and put cod pieces on every single one of them. While playing "God Save The Queen" by the Pistols and with Andres Serrano's "Piss Christ" as my runway background. Shit... that actually sounds brilliant...
MANY, MANY of my classmates were ( are) statistically significantly more talented than a good 96% of the PR designers both as technical/construction people, and more rarely as designers ( a lot of them were very commercial and Forever 21-ish, some tacky-ass bitches and some devoid of originality, but there were a couple of three REALLY talented peeps).
Crap, of all that was shown this week maybe 2 were wearable and 1 was derivative in a sad way.
But let's start the carnage...
rate_509_jerell.jpgThis was the winning look and that just about tells you everything.
The skirt is a'wigth and interesting in a McQueenish sort of way. The rest of it looks like a mother of the bride in a favella in Rio.

Keebler Elf on Meth ( aka as Blayne)
rate_509_blayne.jpgHow can I word this?.... oh, oh, I know..." Textile neoplastic disorder (TND) is characterized by abherrant growths of bridal fabrics thoughout the body, and is considered pernicious, fatal and incurable. Its precise etiology is thus far unknown, but it is thought to be caused by uncontrolled lack of the good taste isoenzyme in the frontal cortex of the brain and by dysregulated egos in vectors known as designers. Presently, the only means of existing treatment are surgical (excision with a pair of Ghinger's and a seam ripper, anesthesia optional), and provide patients with a modest hope for improvement in quality of life (QOL). Active research is necessary to further investigate if the immediate administration of atypical anti-psychotics to designers during full manic/schizoid episodes, would indeed prevent the increased incidence of this disabling and disfiguring condition." The End :-)

I am disappointed. Very disappointed.
This looks like a room at my grandmother Medina's house. Comforting for me. But for a couture dress? Bad, very bad. She has a thing for clowns and circuses...

rate_509_joe.jpgAnd this would be another bedroom at my nana's.... I did not know PR had morphed into an INTERIOR design show. EVERYTHING looked like upholstery. Which brings me to....

rate_509_kenley.jpgHoly fuck, what was that??? This is like fashion version of "The Island of Dr. Moreau". Kenley obviously possessed by a mad couture obsessed scientist, decided, with disregard to ethics and human decency, to create a chimera of past dresses by Dolce & Gabanna, Jean-Paul Gaultier and Viktor& Rolf. The results, here for your examination, are as you can observe, appaling and nausea-inducing.

rate_509_korto.jpgNot Avant-Garde. But being that is is somewhat wearable, met the challenge brief and as at least marginally aesthetically pleasing, to me it was the winner by default.

This one met the challenge brief and was innovative but seriously who the hell would wear that? Not even Tilda Swinton...

Which brings us to Suede's:
rate_509_suede.jpgWell, yes Major Nelson... your wish is my command...
This cheezy "I Dream of Jeanie" costume is as couture and as Avant-Garde as my ass is tiny and inconspicuous.

Single-handedly the WORST episode as far the the clothes go in a fever-pitched tie with the "Real Women" challenge.
This was more sallient because the memory of Chris March's and Christian Siriano's Avant-Garde dress which was one of PR's 5 best ever is still fresh in our minds.
Intead of signs of the zodiac, these were the signs of the Black Zodiac thus the allusion to one of my favourite horror b-movies "13 Ghosts" one of the most sublime cheesefests ever.


Michelle said...

Dear gods, does that girl have basketballs up her sleeves?! Hideous. I don't get cable so I can't watch PR, but damn, what a waste of a kind-of-cool challenge.

Milla said...

Girl... I totally agree...
I have been watching it through alternative means because the the season won't show in London for a while (the UK version Project Catwalk with Kelly Osbourne was canceled).
I could have done better sitting in a lazyboy, drinking a 6-pack of Stella's, with my hands tied behind my back and getting a lapdance from Daniel Radcliffe. And I could have done better with plus-size model on top of that.
Enough said...LOL
That leftovers basketballs dress was revolting.
Thank you for the sweet comment on myspace.
You rock...